Wednesday, May 13, 2009

thank you joshua radin, for singing just what i've been feeling.

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the clouds in your eyes
down your face they pour
won't you be the new one burn to shine
I take the blue ones every time
walk me down your broken line
all you have to do is cry

This song came on, just after.
I haven't cried since that night.
But I wish I could. Cry again.
I think it would be a nice refresher.

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And I know it's easy to say
But it's harder to feel this way
I miss you more than I should
Than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you
And I hate the phone
But I wish you'd call

That's all. Exactly.
My mind likes to wander. Wherever it pleases.
No matter how much I try to avoid those thoughts.
I can't make the call. I wish you would.
I miss you. I really do.

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I’ve been down this road before
So the best thing
I can give to you
Is for me to go
Leave you alone
You got growin up to do

I like to pretend that THAT is a good excuse.
For things not being just the way I want them to be.
At least its what I keep telling myself.
In my almost 21 years of life, I still haven't grown up enough.

I can't make my own decisions.
I can't stop biting my finger nails.
I can't not procrastinate my school work till the last second possible.
There are a lot of things I can't do.
But don't be fooled.

There are a lot of things I can do too.
*I can live in a foreign country, where I hardly speak the language. I can get myself where ever I want and need to go. I can grocery shop, along with any other kind of shop. I can learn to communicate with the people, and I can learn to love them with my WHOLE heart.
*I can take care of myself. I can cook myself food. I can clean my room and apartment. I can wash my own clothes. I can live alone.
*I can attend college. I can enjoy it. I can enjoy learning, and attending my classes. I can get my homework and reading assignments finished on time. I can get good grades.

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The things in my head
You used to admire
In your sundrenched world
I'm talking to you
But you're not listening
I don't know what to do
My heart is blistering
I think I might be the one in the 'sundrenched world'.
But its better to be optimistic, rather than pesimistic, isn't it?
I really don't know what to do with myself.
At this point in my life. What do I do next?
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming."
Thanks Dory, I'll sure try.


4 comments:

Claire said...

I'm never sure if it's okay to call you these days, just because you might be in class or something.
Please call me when you have a little time. Very soon.
You are loved.

Ellen said...

Aimee, I love you so much. Wow, what a song. Keep swimming!!!!!!!

Matt Davies said...

Hey if you ever need to talk, even tho I'm 1000 miles away I'm here for you

Scott & Ali said...

Aimes, this makes me sad. i wish i was there to have pillow talk w/ you.