thank you joshua radin, for singing just what i've been feeling.

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the clouds in your eyes

down your face they pour

won't you be the new one burn to shine

I take the blue ones every time

walk me down your broken line

all you have to do is cry

This song came on, just after.

I haven't cried since that night.

But I wish I could. Cry again.

I think it would be a nice refresher.

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And I know it's easy to say

But it's harder to feel this way

I miss you more than I should

Than I thought I could

Can't get my mind off of you

And I hate the phone

But I wish you'd call

That's all. Exactly.

My mind likes to wander. Wherever it pleases.

No matter how much I try to avoid those thoughts.

I can't make the call. I wish you would.

I miss you. I really do.

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I’ve been down this road before

So the best thing

I can give to you

Is for me to go

Leave you alone

You got growin up to do

I like to pretend that THAT is a good excuse.

For things not being just the way I want them to be.

At least its what I keep telling myself.

In my almost 21 years of life, I still haven't grown up enough.

I can't make my own decisions.

I can't stop biting my finger nails.

I can't not procrastinate my school work till the last second possible.

There are a lot of things I can't do.

But don't be fooled.

There are a lot of things I can do too.

*I can live in a foreign country, where I hardly speak the language. I can get myself where ever I want and need to go. I can grocery shop, along with any other kind of shop. I can learn to communicate with the people, and I can learn to love them with my WHOLE heart.

*I can take care of myself. I can cook myself food. I can clean my room and apartment. I can wash my own clothes. I can live alone.

*I can attend college. I can enjoy it. I can enjoy learning, and attending my classes. I can get my homework and reading assignments finished on time. I can get good grades.

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The things in my head

You used to admire

In your sundrenched world

I'm talking to you

But you're not listening

I don't know what to do

My heart is blistering

I think I might be the one in the 'sundrenched world'.

But its better to be optimistic, rather than pesimistic, isn't it?

I really don't know what to do with myself.

At this point in my life. What do I do next?

"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming."

Thanks Dory, I'll sure try.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19IVl7kbNFY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMtbOwloypE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olz0wPI3eX4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FC6TqsaJ2g